When I was younger I loved to make resolutions on New Year’s Eve. We would go around as a family and say what we are thankful for in the past year, and then what we want to do in the next year. Sometimes it surrounded being a better athlete, getting more A’s in school, taking more vacations, improving our health, vowing to stick to a plan. In reality, these are things we already do haphazardly. We plan a random get away now and then, I love school so I strived for good grades with a natural determination, all these things are sort of predictable and more common than a momentous resolution. Some people do really stick to a certain resolution, go you! It has never really worked for me. Last year, 2016, I started off with the goal of being in a big company doing marketing in healthcare and wanting to take on the corporate world in stride, yet my whole plan did a complete 180 and here I am waiting to see what the next step looks like in the Peace Corps application process. If you told me a year ago that I would apply for the Peace Corps, I would flat out deny it. Things happen and purposes change. What is a plan? It seems to be this general idea we give ourselves of the way things should work out, yet are subject to change. It is a shot in the dark and we are unable to see where we are going because life it just unpredictable that way.
I have 20 weeks left of college, 20. I can’t think about anything else after that because this sense of the unknown gives me this itch I simply can’t reach and it will drive me crazy. Hence, no plans, I am taking the unknown in my hands and throwing it up in the air and seeing what happens next. It does not necessarily have to land anywhere, yet I know it will take me somewhere. If I were to make a plan it would be so unclear I would have to keep working at it to try to make it make sense that I would just be wasting my time. I am living for the now, and the steps I take will simply appear when they are there. This doesn’t mean I am not going to take the opportunities, the maybes, and the what ifs, actually these are the things that may just lead to the next step to take.
So I have a purpose, no resolution, no plan. My purpose is to own who I want to be wherever that may lead me. It may be unexpected. I think my most recent adventures in Israel (get excited for some new Travel posts!) really showed me that purpose does not have to be some grandiose thing or happening, it just needs to be there and be present in whatever you do. If you feel right, then there is something there worth exploring. I am taking pleasure in the wonder of life, and I am letting this guide me to whatever is coming my way.